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Elvis Costello, the thinking man's answer to punk rock, has finally issued his long-awaited C&W album in the United States. While some of Elvis fans viewed his pilgrimage to Nashville with the same horror with which Bob Dylan advocates viewed his conversion to fundamentalist Christianity, Almost Blue turns out to be a pretty good record.
Although his treatment of some songs, such as Hank Williams' "Why Don't You Love Me (Like You Used To Do)" lacks subtlety, Costello does surprisingly well with others, notably the Patsy Cline hit "Sweet Dreams," "I'm Your Toy (Hot Burrito Number 1)" and "A Good Year for the Roses," the single from the album. And all you country music lovers in the New York area will be able to see Elvis this month do it live on Dec. 31, when he'll devote half his show at The Palladium to the Music City USA side of his personality (the other half of the show will feature rock and roll).
Although it's a pretty sure bet that Elvis Costello won't abandon the fast lane for the Grand Ole Opry, I can't help thinking about what might happen if he did. First off, he'd have to change his name again. The "Elvis" part is OK, but country fans absolutely won't go for somebody named "Costello." Since Elvis has already copped part of his name from one of his musical heroes, he could just go the rest of the way and change his name to "Jones," after George Jones, who is his favorite country singer. Elvis Jones see, it sounds better already.
His band, The Attractions, can probably keep its name, unless the guys want to sound a bit more authentic by calling themselves The Attraction Boys. Of course, Steve Neive, Bruce Thomas and Pete Thomas will have to get band uniforms in order to present a neat stage appearance. They'll also have to get a card table, so they'll have a place to sell Elvis Jones records and souvenirs. The British accents will have to go, too, and everyone in the band should practice smiling. Country stars are friendly.
In fact, with just a little tinkering, we could probably make Elvis into a genuine good ole boy. Shoot, he's already better than Barbara Mandrell, and she won Entertainer of the Year two years in a row. It'll be a lead pipe cinch.
Oh, one more thing. Elvis should get rid of the dark glasses. The fans are liable to get him confused with Ronnie Milsap and Terri Gibbs.
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